It's about a boy named Pip who as a little boy grew up in a small house of a lower class living with his mean older sister, Mrs. Joe, and her caring husband, Joe. Pip is out on the marshes putting flowers at his parent's graves when an escaped convict scares Pip into stealing him a file to break loose of his shackles. The convict tells Pip that he better do what he says because another guy will be watching him (although really it's just a scare tactic) and do not tell anyone else. Pip steals a file and a pie from his house for the convict and brings it to him the next morning, on the way to deliver the items, Pip sees another escaped convict hiding in the marshes. Pip tells "his convict". Later, Pip and Joe and the police go out to find the missing convicts and they are found wrestling each other, trying to kill each other.
Skip a few months (Pip is about 9 or 10) and a wealthy woman named Miss Havisham from in town calls on Pip to come and play with her beautiful, adopted daughter, Estella. Pip does and continues to go back to the great house. Now, you should know that Miss Havisham is a creepy old woman who was betrayed by a finance and walks around in her yellowed wedding dress. All the clocks in the great big house are stuck at 20 to 9. Estella is very beautiful but very brutal, she mistreats Pip but he for some reason decides he loves her. Pip, coming from a lowly social class, knows he'll never be good enough but he dreams of becoming a gentleman, fit for Estella. One day when Pip goes to visit Miss Havisham, he gets in a fight with a very pale kid about his size.
Skip a few years and Pip (now about 18) is in an apprenticeship with Joe to be a blacksmith. He is very unhappy and feels betrayed by Miss Havisham because he thought she would support his not wanting to be a blacksmith any longer, but instead, she was the one who made him enter into the contract all those years ago. Pip randomly learns that he has come into a great fortune and will be moving to London to learn to be a gentleman of great expectations. Pip is thrilled, y'all. So, he goes to London and moves in with a really awesome dude (really guys, his roommate is the sweetest) named Herbert Pocket. They live in a apartment house at the top of some stairs. After a few minutes, they realize that Herbert was the kid Pip beat up at Miss Havisham's house so long ago. After that, they become the best of friends.
Yadda yadda yadda. I could tell you a lot more and how everything connects, but it's boring and this is all you need to know to understand the jokes below.
You should also know that in lit class we use a site that's kind of like Facebook but for learning and communicating with your teacher and class. On the site we all get profiles and we put hilarious things, I'll get into that another time. Anyways, my friend Jack has as his bio the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air lyrics; however, he changed his picture to Pip in a flat bill hat and we rewrote the lyrics to make more since to Great Expectations.
We know the basketball line is off and he thought of something else, but I had taken the picture before he revised it.
(were what I had and then I read the book and almost died of boredom)"Ah, almost done! Almost done with this dreadful book!