Thursday, April 17, 2014

How To Be Smooth.


I've always thought that I was pretty smooth with the fellas. When I was little, most of my friends were guys and I've never understood the big fuss over cooties. That being said, I'm so much further from smooth then I had imagined. 

There may or may not be a gentleman that has caught my eye. I have no clue what to say around him though! All my attempts at flirting are awkward yet comedic-ally golden. For instance:

I saw him walking in the hallway and was like 'oh hey. I should maybe say something' but of course, I never know what to say as aforementioned. I had a piece of clear scotch tape on my finger and thought-for some reason-'this is my in'. 
I was walking a few paces in front of he and his friend so I turned around, shyly, pathetically, and offered him the tape.
"Do you want this tape?"

"No. Why?" 
"Umm. It's really...smooth...on my finger." (I knew I lost it here -even though I never actually had it- and didn't make eye contact any longer)
"No." (actual confused. Like he actually thinks I'm insane.)
"Okay bye." (I dart into my classroom.)

At first I had the attitude of utter embarrassment and then I got to thinking about how bizarre and hilarious it was. C'est la vie. Better luck next time. 

Instead of being smooth like I'd thought, I'm a lot more timid and uncomfortable, like the slightly frantic child in the picture. Of course she probably has more way more game then I'll ever have as long as I use tape to woe the boys. 

(Note: this is meant to be humorous and not 'poor me'. I think it's hilarious and hope you do too. Also, notice I excluded the kind boy's name. But of course, if he reads this, he'll knows who he is because I seriously doubt anyone else has ever used this tactic. Creativity points perhaps? haha)

1 comment:

  1. No one knows what they're doing! It's a "fake it til you make it" business.

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